Hiei Goes To SCHOOL!
by Payne N. Uranus
Summary: ..."Don't make me hurt you." Ever toyed with the idea of Hiei going to school? What would be gained from that? Amusement, of course! Tune in to see Hiei and Kurama being tortured mercilessly by education! HieixOC? KuramaxOC? Come and find out!
1. Chapter 1: How Should I Say This?

**Hiei Goes to School**

_By Payne N. Uranus_

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.:AN:.**

I've always had a fun idea about Hiei going to school. It was mostly entertaining because the only way that you get Hiei to enroll in a "human" school, it would probably be for punishment. And, I can only imagine how crazy people would go over The Flying Shadow. Of course, Kurama had to be in the story because 1) Hiei would never last a day with Yusuke and Kuwabara, 2) he just fit into the story, what with he being Hiei's closest "friend, and 3)… well, I like him! So, here's "Hiei Goes To School!" Read and enjoy!

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**Chapter 1: How Should I Say This?**

"Kurama, you can't be serious!"

"Yes, Hiei, I'm afraid that I am."

"There is no way in HELL I am going to one of those stupid human learning centers!"

"They are called schools, Hiei. And I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter."

Kurama and Hiei were standing in the dense woods that surrounded Kurama's hometown. Hiei was sitting in his tree as usual and Kurama was leaning against its thick base, examining his nails, making sure that any demon remains were removed before his return to his home in the Human World. They had just finished tracking down and removing a rogue, low-level apparition that had popped up while Kurama was on his way home from school.

Hiei dropped down from his branch, landing right in front of his companion, a fierce glare that could make any fierce demon's blood run cold adorning his features.

"Six months surrounded by baka humans is not what I would consider a favorite past time," he seethed.

"Don't mistake this as an insult, but, I believe you will survive," Kurama countered calmly, not the least bit nerved by Hiei's display of anger.

"I won't do it," he told the redhead with a hint of finality.

"You will. I gave you that poisonous herb with a strict warning that if you did not use it wisely, I would be forced to make you pay for your malfeasance."

"Well, I'd consider this paying for murder," Hiei responded accusingly.

"Need I remind you that the said herb that you asked for was used to get back at Kuwabara simply because he stated that Yukina had a fine rear?" Kurama asked, cocking his head to the side and giving the indignant demon a pointed look.

"He should watch what he says about her, or I will personally--!"

"And," Kurama continued, cutting off the dark-haired swordsman's threat, "due to your actions, that same herb landed Kuwabara in the hospital for a few days, despite the fact that the herb was deadly? If I hadn't been present to provide the antidote, his life would have been lost."

"Would've served him right!" Hiei stated loudly.

"Be that as it may, instead of a simple act of retribution from myself, Koenma had me think of a more severe punishment for you," Kurama said, a hint of pity coating his otherwise unruffled tone.

"But _this _is more severe than any punishment I have ever received when I actually _succeeded _in killing someone for an act even _less _important," Hiei growled through clenched teeth.

"Considering the options, you should deem yourself lucky, for the alternative could have been much worse. As I said, I gave you a fair warning. You brought this upon yourself. If anyone should be blamed, it is you," Kurama said the last bit over his should as he pushed himself away from the support of the trunk, and made his way to the edge of the forest where the path to his home waited.

Kurama strolled along in silence, without a single comment coming from the three-eyed fire demon. He had almost reached the perimeter of the woods when a small dark blur dropped in front of his path, though Kurama was not the least bit startled. It wouldn't have been wise to share out loud, but the truth was, he was planning on this to occur.

"What about a weapon?" Hiei fumed silently. "Do you expect me to be enclosed in a human-filled compound without any means to protect myself? I am sure that Koenma instructed you to remove me of the sword at my side, did he not?"

"True, he did ask me to disarm you. After all, you are being sent there because you threatened the life of a human," Kurama stated, thoughtfully scratching his chin. "But, I suppose I can make an exception."

The redhead let his hand drift to his pocket easily and pulled out...

"What the hell is that supposed to be?" Hiei asked in his accusing way, glaring heatedly at the foreign object.

"It's a pocket knife," Kurama said, holding it out to him. "It is similar to your sword, except it is compact -- and easy to carry around without others seeing it. It doesn't do much damage when a human handles it, but being as you are, you'll find a way to make it acceptable. I hope it isn't necessary to tell you to handle it wisely?"

Hiei ignored his friend's somewhat sarcastic question, intent on examining this new "weapon" as fully as possible. He then snorted.

"This piece of human garbage couldn't even cut a low class demon's skin. What kind of defensive weapon is this used for? Butter?"

"That is all that you will be receiving, Hiei," Kurama said with a tinge of humor. "Now, I suppose you have a right to decide which school you'd like to go to for these six months, don't you?"

"Meaning would I rather go to this "school" abomination with the Detective, the Fool, and the insane harpy, or with you?"

"Precisely."

"What do you think?"

"I suspected as much."

"Don't go thinking that you've got me figured out," Hiei warned darkly. "If I were to attend _their _"school", it would most likely be filled with idiots worse then them, and then I wouldn't be able to guarantee any of their survival. Besides, I suppose your school would provide more of a challenge for me if I end up having to learn something?"

"Your assumptions are correct. Students at Meiou High do have superior grade point averages compared to those at Sarayashki Jr. High. You will also need to keep consistently high grades if you wish to complete your punishment for Koenma."

"Hn. Are we done?"

"Mostly. I need to inform you that there is a dress code you must comply to, and I suggest that you take a couple days or so to familiarize yourself with the human lifestyle."

"Dress code?"

"A uniform that shows we attend the same school. You will have to don an outfit identical to the one I am currently wearing," he explained, plucking at his school jacket.

Hiei took one glance at Kurama and almost gagged. Yes, he was wearing his purple school uniform, since he _was _walking home from school.

"Forget it," Hiei replied offhandedly with a slight smirk, turning away from the redhead. "I'll have more fun watching them try to "punish" me for my reluctance to wear such insulting clothing. No offense, Kurama, but I'm afraid I'm just not the "purple" type of guy." He walked off, head facing the sky as he continued to chuckle with grim satisfaction.

"True, it would be entertaining," Kurama agreed quietly, watching the small black retreating figure continue his way into the cover of the forest. Turning to look up at the darkening sky as well, he resumed talking to himself. "Let's just see if you are able to handle it. If I have a fan club, just wait until they see you."

~`*`~

A week had passed since Hiei was informed of his sentence, and the moment of recompense had come. As the sun rose above the horizon, it was time to start preparing for the next school week.

Kurama slowly rose from his bed, his eyes adjusting to the brightness quite quickly. Remembering that Hiei was to attend his "first day of school", he tried desperately to hide a smile. Even though the fire demon was mostly likely hiding out in the woods as he usually did, Kurama figured he'd better start checking the urge in case he slipped up and Hiei thought his friend was making fun. Pulling himself out of his warm bed, the redhead quickly prepared a hot shower and washed up. Several minutes later, he walked out of the bathroom with a towel loosely around his waist, and slipped his school uniform from his tidy closet.

"Suichi!" his mother called from downstairs. She was setting down a steaming plate of eggs and sausage for his morning breakfast, and didn't want it to get cold.

"I'll be down in a minute, Mother!" came is response, sounding muffled because of the towel now rubbing his long hair dry.

Just as he had said, Kurama was calmly walking down the stairs a minute later, looking like a prince at a ball, his briefcase (thing) dangling at his side. Another was in his other hand for Hiei.

"Suichi, why do you have two bags?" his mother asked curiously.

"Oh…" he thought quickly, outwardly containing his calm composure while on the inside his brain found a suitable excuse. "A friend of mine lost his bag, and I told him I had one he could use and would bring it for him today."

She smiled adoringly, and patted his back with praise. "You're such a good friend, Suichi."

"Thank you, Mother," he replied with a small, reassuring grin, sighing quietly in his mind out relief that she bought the white lie.

~`*`~

Kurama was casually walking on the sidewalk nearest to the woods he and Hiei had talked in the other night. Hiei was supposed to meet him at the edge nearest to the school. As he approached the crossing area, he spotted a small black figure perched in the lone tree by the corner. Kurama walked by, pretending that he hadn't noticed. When he stopped, it was so that he was directly underneath the figure.

"It seems that I thought wrong when I presumed that you would not show," the redhead commented casually to the air in front of him. He was unbothered by the fact that no one was there, for shortly afterward, the concealed figure dropped down into the unoccupied space.

Hiei looked up at Kurama, and scowled, red eyes shining in the bright sunlight.

"Cowards run from things they do not wish to do or see. In case you hadn't noticed already, I am no coward." His gaze burned with fury, as if daring his companion to say otherwise.

Kurama merely smiled. Then his face became serious again.

"I thought I told you that there was a dress code." His voice held no scolding tone, only one of observation.

"And I thought I told you that the chances of me wearing that rubbish were as great as an ice cube surviving in hell."

"Well, you at least were close."

Indeed Hiei was. He was wearing the exact style of Kurama's school uniform, except it was black and lined with sliver. The swordsman stood defiantly, his white headband covering his Jagan eye and his four, form-hugging belts hiding underneath his jacket.

Hiei simply "hn"ed and looked away, only slightly embarrassed about the fact that he tried.

"Well," Kurama continued. "Koenma thought up a cover story for your stay here. Would you like to hear it?"

Hiei glanced at him, meaning that he was listening, then turned back to staring at the crossroad, waiting for their chance to walk.

"You are to be my cousin twice removed, on my mother's side, from the other area of town, staying to visit while your mother and father sort out their maritial issues."

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "What is a "second cousin"? Surely humans don't keep track to how many offspring the other has? People would think that idiots like them were trying to outscore each other."

"A second cousin is the child of your first cousin," Kurama chuckled. "For example, if you and Yukina were to have a child, and her child was to have a child, then her child's child would be your child's second cousin."

Kurama watched in pleasure as Hiei's right eyebrow twitched during his explanation.

"Oh," the Jaganshi stated, obviously not understanding the jest of his hilarity or the clarification. Kurama decided that he would not tease him any further, and handed him the briefcase (thing), which Hiei took without question.

No cars were passing though the crossroad area, so the two crossed, side by side, and continued their way to the school now in view.

Hiei stared as they entered the vast grounds of the school.

"Why do humans have so much space to learn?" he asked, as if insulting the school would make it change to the way he wanted it to be.

"It is simply a matter of over-population. You will see what I mean momentarily."

Hiei looked at him warily.

"I hate it when you say that."

Then the bell started to ring.

Hiei practically jumped out of his skin when he heard the ring echoing throughout the compound.

"What the hell is that?" he asked, preparing himself for battle, his right arm automatically traveling to his side. Remembering that he was removed of his sword the day after his 'talk' with Kurama, he suddenly realized how bare he felt without it. He continued to glance around him, as if daring that 'thing' to attack him while he was 'defenseless'.

"Hiei, relax," Kurama said over the bell that was still playing, and tried to stifle his laughter. "It's just the school telling us that class is starting."

Hiei predictably stood straight again, faintly mortified that he had acted so stupidly. His traditional scowl returned to his face, covering up any redness that might have gotten through his façade.

"Why in the world would idiots like them need a bell to tell them what to do?" he asked again in his accusative manor as the bell's song finally ended.

"It's just the way it is," Kurama replied, enjoying Hiei's dumbfounded look.

"Hn."

Seemingly out of nowhere, people started swarming around them. Hiei noted immediately that most of them girls, and the resulting chatter drowned any comment that the fire demon would have made to offend anything else. Amidst the crowds, other students uninterested in the newcomer simply pushed their way through to enter the main building.

"Hey, Suichi!" one teenager greeted.

"Oh my god! Look at the little guy! He is SO CUTE!" another one cried with excitement.

"Is he new? Are you helping him?"

"Oh, Suichi, you're so caring! It's absolutely admirable!"

"Wow, is he your brother or something, Suichi?"

They weren't screaming excessively, but they were loud enough to hurt Hiei's sensitive hearing. He flinched, hands rising automatically to cover his ears up.

Glaring at Kurama, he told him telepathically, _"I will close my eyes—and when I open them, they had better be gone."_

Kurama turned to the frantic students that were crowding around the two demons, remarkably allowing them a small amount of personal space, and felt slightly lost as to how he was supposed to do as his companion requested. They were all pushing each other out of the way, some even reaching out to grab at their clothing. Hiei was being jostled, and knew that he was taking great measures to not slaughter the whole student body.

Thinking rapidly, he said, "Everyone! Everyone, my… cousin and I are late for a meeting with the principal. It would be most gracious of you to step aside, and let us continue on our way."

Blinking and chattering amongst themselves at the request, they promptly obeyed, creating a path leading straight to the front doors of the school. Hiei opened his eyes and walked forward without a moment's hesitation or a glance at either side, fiery eyes daring them to get in his way.

As they walked, Hiei was able to catch small comments coming from the love-struck girls, like "who is that little boy?" and "look at how sexy their eyes are! I think I'm gonna faint!" as well as "I melt every time Suichi speaks. It's as if he's creating poetry!"

Needless to say, Hiei was thoroughly disgusted by the lot of them.

Finally, they reached the safety of the building, and Hiei immediately deflated, sighing in relief. As soon as he saw Kurama looking at him pityingly, he instantly tensed up, back to the old Hiei we all know (and love).

"What now?" he asked diffidently.

"Now," Kurama started slowly, trying to remember their next course of action. "We head to the Main Office to enroll you as a temporary student at Meiou High."

"How many of these "offices" does this place have?" Hiei asked in an almost crazed manner.

He was sick of this school already.

~`*`~

Moments later, a pissed-off Hiei and a tired looking Kurama stopped in front of the door that lead to their homeroom class. Kurama sighed.

"Hiei, is it really necessary for you to pick a fight with every human you meet, about things that they can't help but do, say, and/or have?"

Hiei, looking faintly disgruntled, stared determinedly at the door, as if it suddenly earned his interest. Kurama could hear an audible grunt come from his throat. He sighed again.

"Well, at least you only broke one of her fingers and not the whole arm. She was only telling you what I did, and you didn't try to break _my _finger."

Hiei glared at him from the corner of his eye. "I will not be told what to wear by humans who need their parents help to dress them until they are going through puberty. And I'm sure you know why I didn't try to harm you, though don't take it, or anything else I do or don't do, for granted. I just may change my mind…" His voice trailed off as his eyes returned to the door. Kurama was surprised to see a hint of hesitation in them.

"Shall we?" Kurama asked, the humor returning to his tone.

"Hn."

They opened the door that lead to the classroom full of rambunctious students, Hiei trying to stay hidden in the fairly absent shadows. Almost immediately, the chatter ceased, then came back at full-force, aimed directly at the two newcomers. It almost was like turning the volume down while listening to one's favorite rock band, then turning it up again in a period of five seconds.

"Suichi, I saved you and your cousin a seat!"

"OMG! YOUR COUSIN IS SOOO CUTE! CAN I PLEASE HOLD HIM?"

"Who is he? He is so adorable!"

"SUICHI! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"

Kurama caught Hiei's glare once more and tried to calm everyone down. Straightening himself more thoroughly, he cleared his throat and said loudly, "Everyone, please!" All at once, the class was silent, their eyes glued to the duo. Kurama glanced around briefly, then continued, "My cousin has extremely sensitive hearing due to an… accident he had been involved in when he was young. I must ask you all to try and control your usual habits to make his temporary stay as enjoyable as possible in his situation. If you can cooperate with such terms, I would appreciate it greatly." And with that said, he and Hiei took their seats near the window as far back as they could.

And, as amazing as it seemed to Hiei, they obeyed, though some of the more brave students, his new peers, walked over to ask about his accident and why he was here only temporarily—this came with a whining tone that made Hiei wish once more that he had his ever-reliable sword at his side…

~`*`~

When their first class started, Hiei found himself with nothing to do. It was a… "study hall" day, and everyone was doing work from previous lessons—ones that he had not been apart of. The teacher had instructed Kurama to explain what they were doing to him, but it didn't take as long as the teacher thought it would.

Hiei shifted restlessly in his uncomfortable plastic chair, tempted to just dart out of the window while the rest of the occupants of the room were bent over colored papers and textbooks. Looking longingly outside at the trees and the clouds, he caught in Kurama's glance, emerald eyes once more twinkling with entertainment. Hiei scowled, and turned to him and whispered, "Got something you'd like to share with me, Fox?"

Kurama's face automatically turned serious, and Hiei almost fell over due to the abrupt change. "Actually, yes, I do." His eyes gazed at his other peers to make sure that they weren't listening in. "Hiei, as you know, I'm referred to as "Suichi", here…"

"Oh, really?" Hiei sneered. "And I thought that was your pet name that those crazed females called you."

"Very amusing Hiei…" Kurama sighed. "Still, you must try to call me Suichi, or else others may become suspicious."

"Why? Is there a demon or something that I haven't sensed located here? I will not call you such a disgusting human name, Kurama. I intend on calling you whatever I feel like, whether it be Kurama, Fox, or an insult."

Kurama sighed once more, knowing there'd be no point to argue the issue any further. "Very well… then it will be a nickname, but no one else must refer to me as such or it will be your fault."

"Hn," Hiei grumbled, pushing his chair back forcefully as he stood and perched himself onto the windowsill.

Kurama, watching him with a startled expression, asked, "Where are you going?" as Hiei pressed his hands against the warm glass, shoving it upwards to open it.

"None of your concern," he snapped, continuing his way out of the window without caring if anyone saw him in the act.

"Hiei…" Kurama warned him, his eyes gaining that dangerous look that made Hiei aware that he was not to try him any farther.

It almost made him smile—almost.

"No need to worry yourself, Fox," he explained lazily, only stopping his journey down the side of the building. "I assure you that I have no intention in doing something that will likely earn me a preaching session with these human adults, or the Koenma child. I will be back before anyone notices my absence."

Unable to think of a way to stop Hiei from doing with he thought he was going to do, Kurama simply relaxed back in his chair. "Very well… I will make sure that they don't, if you manage to take longer than what you say."

"Hn," Hiei replied with a small smirk, saying "thank you" in his own unique way.

And with that he leap down onto the ground, landing lightly before rushing into the forest area surrounding the school.

Kurama sighed, closing his eyes before he opened them once more, and returned to his own work.

_He'll have to learn to use the school's restrooms sooner or later, or else it could create quite a problem later on…

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**.:AN:.**

That's the end of my first chapter! What do ya think, huh? Is it good? Should I continue? Did I do a good job with the character's personalities? TELL ME! Just kidding, please R&R before returning to the other stories out there!

Sayonara!


	2. Chapter 2: Things You Didn't Know

**Hiei Goes to SCHOOL!**

_By Payne N. Uranus_

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.:AN:.** Le gasp! Another update! On a story that's not "A Month"? Again? In the same week?? Holy flying jelly-filled donuts, Batman! Okay, done being goofy. Honestly, I'm so stressed with writer's block, this was the only way I could properly vent in a positive, creative fashion. I really like this chapter, and I had fun planning the next...um...four? Three? Something like that. So yeah...wow, 34 reviews for one chapter... That's a record! Here's some responses to reviews!

**jasmine** -- Thanks so much for understanding. It means a lot. Hopefully the wait was not in vain, and you find this chapter as satisfying as it was for me to write it!

**CrazyCatLadyVia** -- Aww, thank you for saying so. Once again, the support is very much appreciated. And I'm glad I've stayed in character! I don't know how well I'll do for the next chapters, since it's been a long while since I've watched the series. I hope that it'll come naturally, given how long I've written for these two characters, and how often I watched that show. Haha, it's embarrassing now that I think about it... Oh yes, I've decided there won't be OC pairings. Of course there's going to be OCs that fall for these two characters, but as for romantic relationships? Nah, no worries. They'll stay the heartthrob bachelors for a while yet...

**KiyoshiXI** -- A famous author?? 0_0 Oh God, I couldn't possibly. Do you know how much self-discipline that'd require? I barely have enough discipline to remember to feed myself every day... Haha, but thank so much for saying so! I can only hope that this chapter meets those standards you've set for me...

**emma **-- Haha, I appreciate the honesty. Yes, I didn't think I did so well with her character either. It took a bit of research, but I think I've corrected it enough. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

**Jessie Lee** and **HIEI=)** -- You two pretty much addressed the same issue as emma, but I agree with you three nonetheless. I took that suggestion into account, and have since corrected the section with Shiori in the first chapter. Thank you so much for pointing that out and being honest, I really appreciate it. Hopefully I got it right this time!

**hottytottie90** -- Haha, I think they talk like that because they're very high class demons. Hiei likes sounding sophisticated and, well, snobby, so that sometimes requires complex sentence structures and polysyllabic words, and Kurama's just a suave, intelligent guy that's been around for a long time. I dunno, that's just my thoughts. I tried to tone it down just a bit this chapter. It's gets a bit much reading those long phrases over and over.

And thanks to **Hakai Akumu, ****Frosty Pig,**** FireKumori mage, ****Black Wolf Jaganshi Lover, ****ficfan3484,**** Kokoro Sabishii, ****animegirl16, ****Aliella Sonsteel, ****sandry stardiamond, ****yonaka, stacy****, ****evil meg, ****shadowoftheredmoon, ****Hello!,**** Neukar, ****Fox Kitsune, ****Rae, Cring White Wolf, ****Sara, Shoebox of Lies, Kuronue's Sister, ****Cricket, ****Elske, ****OrangeKisses, khooxp, **and **X-Harlequin-X **for their enthusiastic and awesome reviews! Despite nearly all of them asking me to update soon, it took me a long time to get this up. I hope you're still out there, willing to see this story through til the end! Now, on to the chapter!

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**Chapter 2: Things You Didn't Know You Needed To Know**

_I'm hungry_, Hiei thought blandly, ignoring the faint whistling of the trees as he sped by. _Where does one find sustenance for oneself in this place? Surely they don't kill each other for food…_

He laughed wickedly at the thought before inconspicuously climbing through the window that he had left through. Immediately, Hiei noticed there was something wrong with the room. The students inside were different than the ones that had been there before, and Kurama was no longer in the seat Hiei had last seen him in.

_Did I mistakenly enter the wrong window?_

As if to confirm his feeling of misplacement, the new collection of students turned to stare openly at him, surprised at his sudden appearance. Whispering immediately broke out, though the teacher was in an equal state of shock, so he didn't hush it down and continue with the lesson.

_What the hell's going on here? _Hiei wondered, giving a particularly curious student the stink eye when the child leaned in closer than necessary.

Wordlessly crossing the distance separating him from the classroom door, and doing his best to ignore the hushed talk following him, Hiei stepped outside and slid the wood closed behind him. With a sigh, he checked to make sure the hallway was completely empty before pulling off his white headband and exposing his Jagan eye.

_When I find that damned fox, he'd better have an explanation or so help me, I'll cut out his precious voice box._

~`*`~

Kurama waited in his "new" desk, fidgeting and sighing slightly as he saw that passing period between the first classes had ended five minutes ago. Their teacher was not going to be pleased, though he could always claim that Hiei had gotten lost and he had to go look for him…

_I tried to tell him, but he doesn't seem to listen all that well…_ the redhead thought with another sigh. _Then again,_ he added, _given the events that took place this morning, he's not all that cooperative when people tell him what to do… _

He closed his eyes, trying to think up a formidable excuse for his friend's tardiness, but it wasn't long after that his eyes shot open. The door that he had been watching slipped aside, revealing an irritated Hiei standing with his hands clenching and unclenching dangerously.

"Mr. ..." The teacher at the front of the room, a rather aged-looking man with a balding crown and thick glasses perched on his crooked nose, paused to review the attendance sheet in front of him. Dressed in a faded, plaid button-up under the customary blazer with leather-padded elbows, he looked every inch the failed college professor. "...Jaganshi," he noted in a nasally voice, finger marking the name on the student list. "For what reason do you have for being late?"

Kurama immediately raised his hand and spoke loudly, "Please excuse him, Mr. Jiro, sir. My cousin is new to the school. He disappeared from my sight during the period between classes, so he must have gotten lost. I assure you, it won't happen again."

Mr. Jiro turned his attention to the redhead, who in turn did his best to look as repentant as possible, and nodded once in understanding. "Very well." Tilting his head to eye the still silently fuming teen, the man gave a mental snort. The boy was a poster child for rebellious students, but if he was related to one of his star pupils, Mr. Jiro figured he wasn't too much of a threat. Even so... "Young man, I expect for you to be responsible for your own actions from now on, do you understand? Next time you come to my class late, I won't hesitate to mark you tardy."

The incredulous look on the fire demon's face was priceless, or so Kurama thought. Hiei didn't say a word, just narrowed his blood-filled eyes before giving a disrespectful scoff at the question, and stalked toward his "cousin". Mr. Jiro watched him walk off, too taken aback to get appropriately angry. By the time he thought of a proper scolding, the time for it had passed, so he grudgingly let it slide.

Hiei slid into his seat in front of Kurama while the balding man went back to writing out equations on the blackboard and explaining their meanings to the class.

"I think you forgot to mention something to me, Fox," the dark-haired swordsman growled, his vein bulging out of his temple.

"I sorry, Hiei," Kurama said with a pitying smile. "I would have told you sooner, but you didn't give me time. When next you feel the need to relieve yourself, may I suggest the school restrooms?"

"Restrooms?" Hiei asked with confusion, momentarily forgetting about his anger as another "human concept" was brought up.

Kurama sighed. "I'll show you later."

"Hn. Explain _this_ first, Fox," Hiei growled again, regaining his earlier fury.

"You mean, the reason why I, as well as the rest of the class, wasn't there when you returned?" Kurama asked with humor.

"Yes, that is what I mean," he grated out.

"Well, the concept is simple; every fifty minutes, we exchanges teachers and classes with a five minute interval in-between."

Hiei stared blankly at him for a moment before saying slowly, "Why?"

Kurama sighed, then shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea, Hiei. You'd have to ask the main office that question."

"And why the hell would I want to lower myself to such a despicable level?"

"You know, Hiei," Kurama started softly tilting his head to regard his friend thoughtfully. "You'll soon find that asking for help is not such a disgraceful thing."

"Until that time comes," Hiei responded stubbornly, "my ways of thinking will remain as such."

Kurama sighed, then vaguely gestured for Hiei to turn his attention back to the board at the front of the class. "Never mind that, then. Time to focus on the lesson at hand, and leave the others for when their time comes."

Hiei grumbled, obliging with Kurama's command and twisted to face the lines, numbers, and variables now criss-crossing the blackboard's surface. "What in Hell's name is all that nonsense? Is this some sort of secret code we're meant to solve? Foolish humans and their ridiculous methods of teaching..."

Kurama heaved a greater sigh. Suddenly, the humor of explaining everything to the naïve fire demon was exhausted, so instead he gave into another smooth hunch of the shoulders, and inquired, "Do you suppose you can last longer than one period, or should I expect you to rush out of the window again? I'll need more time to come up with another excuse, if that's the case."

"Silence, Fox."

~`*`~

"Just _what_ is it, Fox?" Hiei grunted agitatedly, ripping his arm from Kurama's firm grasp and delivering his customary glare. Straightening out his clothes with a huff, and warily eyeing his companion in case the redhead spontaneously decided to drag him off somewhere again, he turned his attention to the room Kurama had brought them into.

Tiled floors and walls caught his attention immediately, for every minute sound created a hollow echo. Strange slabs of painted metal stuck out from the wall on one side, and warped pieces of an alien white material lined up on the other. Two bowl-shaped artifacts made from the same white material were stuck against the wall close to the door, with a shining glass spout bordered by two weird little glass knobs on each top corner. Above each hung a large rectangular mirror.

The contraptions inside this room were confusing.

"Well?" Hiei turned to Kurama expectantly, a raised eyebrow coupled with a confused scowl adorning his face. "Was there something you wished me to see?"

Kurama wordlessly grabbed the sleeve of Hiei's jacket again, and led him to one of the twisted white objects sealed to the wall. Once the two were facing it, the fox demon let go, and pointed.

"This is called a urinal."

Hiei blinked uncomprehendingly. "So?"

"A urinal, Hiei."

Understanding that there was some sort of hint that the short fire demon was missing, he frowned in frustration, and observed the room again. The tiled floors, the metal walls -- which he noticed form stalls that separated similarly shaped pieces of white material, the urinal in front of him...

"Hn," the dark-haired figure muttered as his frown deepened. Turning his head enough to send a disgusted look at his companion, Hiei growled, "Do not tell me this is where these ridiculous humans..."

"Yes," Kurama finished with a serious nod of his head. "And as long as you're going here, you'll have to as well."

Hiei was silent, but the redhead didn't notice.

"As I said before, this is a urinal. You push this button to flush when you're finished. Those porcelain bowls in the stalls are called toilets. Instead of a button, they have a handle you press down on. Those over there are sinks to wash your hands afterwards. And that metal box adjacent to them is whe-- Hiei!"

Kurama sighed in defeat as he watched the bathroom door swing shut behind the fire demon's departing form.

~`*`~

Hiei slammed his fist on Kurama's desk, exclaiming with barely restrained frustration. "Who in the Devil's name needs to know the cosine of a thirty-five degree angle?!" he spat, leaning in close to Kurama as if it would threaten the logic out of his fellow demon.

"Humans who intend to make a living in this world, Hiei," the redhead responded lightly with a small, crooked smile.

This only made the small warrior growl even more angrily. "I am not a human! This knowledge is useless to me. Never in my life have I needed to know --" Hiei fumbled with the technical term, and immediately twisted around to check the name in his textbook before whirling back to scathingly finish -- "_trigonometry_, to stay alive when a hoard of apparitions were after me. It is foolishness for me to sit here and have some petty human in the midst of a mid-life crisis try and _teach_ me this gargantuan collection of garbage, just to redeem myself for attempting to remove a buffoon from the planet's surface!"

Heaving a deep breath, Hiei pushed himself away from both Kurama and his's desks, rose to his feet, and marched deliberately across the room and out the sliding door. All the while, the balding professor at the front of the class stared, along with the rest of the students, once again unable to find his voice to ask the scowling new arrival to get back into his seat.

The poor man blankly turned his bispecticaled eyes to Kurama, who offered a sheepish grin and a meek, "He had to go to the restroom..."

~`*`~

_I'm hungry,_ Hiei mused once more. Hands stuffed deep in his pockets -- he found it was easier to control his urge to hit people if his fists were confined -- the fire demon prowled the empty hallways of the school. Class was in session, but all that meant to Hiei was that every noisy, idiotic human was essentially locked away in neat little rooms, allowing the short apparition the freedom to travel wherever he wished undisturbed. And travel he did.

_Is there not one place to find some form of food in this abominable building?_ The light scowl in his face deepened even more as his stomach grumbled unhappily in the silence.

As soon as he thought that to himself, Hiei passed by a large, strangely lit rectangled box pushed up against the wall of the corridor. Brows furrowed in curiosity, the spiky-haired swordsman retraced his steps until he was standing in front of the contraption. It was a machine, or so Hiei guessed, but its purpose was hard to determine. There were pictures of various packaged goods, but none that Hiei actually recognized. Judging by the writing on the wrappers, they were all American products.

"Hn," the fire demon grunted, ready to dismiss the machine entirely if it weren't for the growling protest from his stomach. He observed the glass front, figuring that if there was something that looked good, he might as well get it.

There were chips, candy, and strange pastries that all looked too foreign for Hiei to want to try. However, in the bottom corner, there was...

_Sandwich?_

Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, Hiei warily pressed the necessary buttons to get his "meal". Nothing happened.

Blinking in confusion, Hiei repeated the motion with more force. Still, the machine did not drop the sandwich.

_What the hell?_ the fiery warrior snarled angrily. For the third time, he pounded the buttons, and for the third time, the machine denied him. Instead, it flashed weird symbols at him that Hiei honestly didn't recognize. _Is it insulting me?_

Without pausing to calm himself, Hiei's hand dove into his pants pocket and wrapped his fingers around the knife resting inside. The dark-haired apparition then pulled it free, flicked the blade open, and wordlessly stabbed the key pad over and over again. The plastic frame cracked under the force of Hiei's blows, and the rubber coverings of the buttons were ripped to pieces. Still, the machine resisted.

In seconds, the pad was completely slashed to ribbons. Hiei stood, watching the exposed wires spark from underneath the last shreds of rubber, his hand still tense around the pocket knife. It took a few beats of silence to regain his composure, but in the end the blade was slipped back into his pocket.

Hiei observed the machine once more. This was no longer a case of hunger -- it was a challenge. And Hiei was not one to turn away from a challenge.

Once again taking a sweep of the hallway before doing anything else, Hiei breathed in deep, and pressed his left hand to the glass, right where the sandwich was. The swordsman closed his eyes in concentration, and it wasn't long before the glass started to glow red with heat. In the next instant, there was a clean hand-shaped hole seared into the glass, perfectly large enough for Hiei to slip his fingers inside and pull the sandwich out.

Pleased with his victory, he scoffed contemptuously at the defeated machine, and opened his prize with relish. Hiei gave it one last look before turning and marching away, munching happily on the sandwich that, actually, didn't taste all that bad.

_Humans aren't so useless after all,_ Hiei thought with a light smirk. _But their inventions are pathetic._

~`*`~

When class let out, Hiei was still meandering throughout the halls, much to the displeasure of Kurama. The redhead knew that his comrade wouldn't go along with this punishment easily, but to be this troublesome...

_Koenma will no doubt think of something harsher if Hiei fails to complete his time here_, Kurama sighed. He left the classroom he was supposed to share with Hiei, and decided it was about time to go look for him. The suddenly packed corridors made it difficult to find the fiery swordsman, especially due to Hiei's height -- or lack thereof -- so it took a bit of time for Kurama to wade through all the students.

However, during his search, Kurama managed to catch small snippets of conversation coming from a crowd of kids collected around one of the vending machines down the hall.

"Who could've done it?"

"They only took a sandwich..."

"Look at that! A perfect hand print in the glass!"

"One crappy sandwich..."

"How did they do that anyway? Did they have a blowtorch, or a glass cutter, or something?"

"Why would anyone rob a vending machine? And only take a sandwich?"

_Rob?_ Kurama wondered with mild suspicion. Like all schools, Meiou High had its fair share of minor thefts, but to have robbed a vending machine so obviously was a certainly out of the ordinary. And to have it happen today while Hiei was skipping class...

_Hmmm...Hiei couldn't have...could he?_

As if to answer the unspoken question, Kurama caught sight of the fiery swordsman down the hall heading in his direction. And, in his hand, was the last half of a sandwich.

Kurama sighed and shook his head. _It could just be a coincidence..._ Peeking through the crowd of students at the violated vending machine, the redhead took note of the glass screen and the neat hand print seared through it. _Or I could just be naive. It's not like anyone else has the ability to do that._

The fox demon waited until his companion was in hearing range before asking calmly, "Enjoying yourself?"

Hiei merely "hn"ed and continued walking. Without breaking stride, Kurama pivoted on his heel and fell in step beside the shorter warrior. "I don't think I've ever seen you eat before, now that I think about it."

A small furrow creased in Hiei's brow at the offhand comment. Scowling lightly, the swordsman turned his head to the side and grunted. "I was hungry."

"I noticed," Kurama said, pointedly eyeing the last of the sandwich.

Narrowing his eyes at the constant observation, Hiei glared at the redhead out of the corner of his eye, and promptly ate the remaining crust. Once he was finished chewing, the fire demon asked sharply, "Is there something you'd like to say, Fox?"

"Not really," was the response, coupled with a slight, innocent roll of emerald eyes. "Only...I can't help but wonder where you got the money to purchase the food that was in your hands. That's all."

At this, Hiei couldn't help but freeze in mid-stride. "Money?" he blinked in shock.

Noticing the sudden stall in his friend's pace, Kurama slowed as well. He turned and, hands in his pockets, shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant fashion. "Yes. Money. Some sort of token or commodity that serves as a medium exchange. In Japan, our money looks something like this." Kurama removed one hand from his pocket, and unfurled his fist to show a single yen.

Hiei stared at the shiny coin, still looking a little lost. "Money.." he mumbled to himself...and then a look of realization came across his face. He looked down at the coin, then looked back at the machine that he -- or so Kurama suspected -- had robbed.

And then Hiei started laughing. Hard.

"And you call me the thief," Kurama remarked, half with amusement, half with exasperation. Hiei just continued to chuckle as the two walked towards their next class.

Though, needless to say, given Hiei's past experience with school, the joyful atmosphere wouldn't last long...

~`*`~

Hiei had seen Yusuke bang his forehead against his desk when he was forced to study at Genkai's, and had called him an idiot for doing such a ridiculous thing. After all, how could hurting oneself do any good when it came to something as petty as reading a book?

Now, however, Hiei was surprised how much effort it took _not_ to follow suit with that course of action. As he growled lowly under his breath, it was all the fire demon could do not to set the damn book aflame.

"Jaganshi?" a soft, feminine voice called from the front of the room. Glancing up, Hiei couldn't refrain from curling his lips in disgust. The English teacher for this class was much too delicate for Hiei's liking -- not that it was possible for him to like a human... "Would you please read the following paragraph?"

Hiei stared hard at the foreign words spreading horzontally across the pages in front of him. For a moment, he thought it would at least try, for Kurama's sake, but this was something he had never seen before. And never intended to again.

"No," the fiery swordsman announced firmly, shoving the book away and crossing his arms in defiance. From the seat behind him, Hiei could hear Kurama sigh in defeat.

"Uh..no?" the young woman repeated in shock. Obviously, she had yet to have a student talk back to her, mostly due to the fact that, despite Hiei's opinion, she was actually quite beautiful. Her long, golden locks were meticulously cared for, and her skin had a nice, healthy glow. Coupled with her stunning hazel eyes and lean, athletic body, it was no wonder that students of both the male and female persuasion were too starstruck to consider back-mouthing.

Hiei "hn"ed in confirmation before turning his attention to the side window.

"I'm sorry, Miss Mizuno," Kurama interjected. Inwardly, the redhead prayed it wouldn't be this way for every class. He didn't know how long he could keep making excuses for the wayward Hiei, and not have any of it come and bite them both in the behind. "My cousin missed many English lessons growing up due to his family situation, and he gets very frustrated when he can't keep up with the class." Kurama felt Hiei's heated glare, but easily ignored it. After all, the rebel deserved it. "Perhaps, instead of having him participate now, he could have some private lessons until he's up to speed?"

Miss Mizuno seemed to genuinely consider this, but replied in her soft, cheerful tone, "That's not a bad idea, Minamino. However, there's no time like the present to get a head start. Jaganshi, why don't you try reading as much as you can, at whatever pace you prefer, and when you can't go any further, just say so. Okay?"

The fury in Hiei's eyes had gone up a few notches. He hated that voice, hated that look, and hated Kurama for encouraging that stupid woman's behavior. Sending one more infuriated glance at the redhead, he snatched up the book, and did his best to concentrate.

It did no good. He didn't even recognize anything he was looking at. As time passed, Hiei's shoulders got tenser and tenser. The urge to just give up or, better yet, burn the novel, was uncontrollable.

Giving one final hard stare that the book, Hiei finally snapped. Immediately, the pages flared up and was quickly engulfed in flames. Without waiting for anyone's reactions, Hiei dropped the book onto the desk, flitted out of his seat and out the classroom door.

Honestly, this school was a waste of space.

~`*`~

"Attention students and staff. Could Hiei Jaganshi and Suichi Minamino please report to the counseling office please? Hiei Jaganshi and Suichi Minamino to the counseling office please."

Kurama heaved a sigh for what felt like the hundredth time that day. _What now, I wonder?_ the redhead huffed as he stood from his seat and wordlessly left his English class. It hadn't been more than twenty minutes since Hiei had turned his English book into ashes, and that time in class had been spent watching the teacher fall into a strange state of depression, mumbling to herself about how she failed her student by pushing too hard.

Strolling down the empty halls, Kurama couldn't help but wonder if Hiei would obey the summon, or if he even knew where the counseling office was. He knew that if he took the time to go look for his friend, he would probably get into even more trouble for being late, and it wasn't a guarantee that Kurama would find Hiei anyway.

Oh the dilemma...

After much debate, Kurama decided to go straight to the counseling office on his own. If Hiei wasn't there, then at least Kurama could tell them he was going to find the elusive "cousin" of his instead of disappearing unannounced.

It wasn't that long of a walk, but when the redhead arrived outside of his destination, he was met with a sight he wasn't expecting to see.

Koenma was there, in his "older" form, holding a pissed off Hiei by the back of his shirt collar.

"Yo," the young prince greeted coolly with a suave wave of his free hand.

"Koenma," Kurama responded in kind. "What brings you here?"

Brushing his hand through the air as if smacking away a fly, the pacifier-wielding royal answered, "What good is it to be the ruler of Spirit World if you can't even keep track of what's going on Earthside? I had to make sure my troublesome _child_ properly served out his punishment."

"Child?" the other two echoed, though Hiei's reaction held more indignation while Kurama's was merely out of curiosity.

"Apparently a certain someone decided to try and break a young, rule-abiding lady's fingers this morning," Koenma announced, giving a sideways look of disapproval at Hiei, who merely "hn"ed and turned away sulkily. Kurama resisted the urge to slap his forehead in besetment. He knew that would come back to them at some point. "She reported the incident to the office, which, naturally, led them to contacting Hiei Jaganshi's parental guardian. Since Hiei has no relative that could pass off as his parent, that meant me. So, here I am, attending an impromptu disciplinary meeting with the vice principal, on Hiei's first day of school."

"What?!" Hiei exclaimed, eyes wide and angry. He started struggling against his "parent's" grasp, twisting and ducking, but it was no use. "I will not have you masquerading as my father, you pathetic excuse for a --"

"You watch your language, young man," Koenma tsked, even going so far as to shake his finger in front of Hiei's face. "You will treat me with respect, or you'll find your punishment will double."

"As if anyone would believe you were a parent with that ridiculous pacifier in your mouth all the time."

"Perhaps you'd rather have your sentence tripled?"

The fiery swordsman stilled at this, but that didn't stop him from growling obscenities under his breath.

Kurama, having found all of this rather amusing up to this point, decided to cut in. "So why did they call me down if this is addressing Hiei's behavior?"

"Probably because he's your charge, and he still did these things," Koenma surmised. "You need to start keeping better control of him, Kurama, or you may find yourself in a similar situation."

"...Similar situation?" the redhead repeated numbly. _Is that even fair?_

"Now then. You two stay here while I sort this out. Chances are you'll both be suspended for the rest of the day, so when the meeting is over, you'll need to collect your things before you head out."

"Both of us?" Kurama echoed again, feeling the blood drain further from his face. _What will Mother say?_

"Both of you," Koenma nodded, giving a small smirk. Walking over to the door and opening it up, the young prince gave one more cheeky wave before slipping through, leaving the two apparitions standing silently in the hall.

Kurama turned his attention to Hiei, and couldn't resist giving a frosty glare to the shorter warrior. It was one thing for the fire demon to disregard his own education. But Kurama, or rather, Suichi, valued his learning, and did not appreciate getting dragged into this sort of position.

Noticing the attention, Hiei shifted uncomfortably under the gaze, and did his best to ignore it by walking towards the waiting chairs outside the office door and sitting down. It wasn't the first time that day that Hiei thought it, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last, but this time he couldn't help but say it out loud.

"Damn. I hate school."

* * *

* * *

**.:AN:.** Chapter Two -- complete! I think that was long enough for now, and I hope it met everyone's standards. Sorry for such a long wait, though... Hopefully there are still a lot of readers out there that are interested in seeing this piece continue. We'll see, eh? Anyway, things to look forward to in the next chapter:

*Hiei has his first cafeteria lunch!

*Hiei gets a very persistent fan girl...

*Hiei cheats on a test??

And plenty more! Stay tuned please! And leave a quick review on the way out!


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